As someone who now lives in another country (Denmark) from the majority of the people who have loved and known me best (the UK), I’ve gradually become more aware of the absence of these people and the need for such relationships. Obviously, my friends and family from home haven’t disappeared, but it’s very different speaking to someone over the phone once in a while versus sharing everyday life together - as a musician; who will cheer me on in the concerts now?
Foreigners in an unknown land
Arriving in Aarhus, I had questions about residence permits, CPR number, doctors, dentists, accommodation, bank accounts, study plans, getting around etc - you get the picture. Fortunately I was allocated a mentor who could help me with most things (yet not everyone will be so lucky, so could you help with these things?) and within a few months I was 'sorted'. But then what?
As a Christian, I am grateful to be able to find community with people who also follow Jesus and share my life perspective. Yet, as tribal creatures, we often retreat back into our own kind because it’s easier/more comfortable/enjoyable... Although life in any new place eventually becomes normal, it still provides its challenges and internationals are still foreigners in an unknown land. Think of the Israelites in Egypt. Of course they depended ultimately on God, but they also had each other, and during the good times and the bad (and there were plenty), they were in it as a family, tribe or nation. I find myself needing and searching for deeper friendship, or at least friendship that supports and cares for me, filling that gap that was left when I moved abroad. This tangible friendship may require an active decision, or it may come naturally, but I implore you: don't underestimate the value of your act of friendship and kindness to a foreigner. Even basic gestures can mean a lot!
What you can do in welcoming international students
Here are three things I have really appreciated from my friends:
- Attending concerts: my parents have always been so supportive watching me in many concerts over the years, supporting my progression and aspirations. Of course, it’s not so easy for them to just pop over to Denmark now, so I’m always grateful if any of my friends make the effort to enjoy the music I’m offering to share!
- Offering to translate/explain stuff: language and cultural norms can be alienating, and it’s often tiring to keep asking what on earth is going on, so if there’s something that could be a bit niche or confusing, don’t hold back with offering an explanation! You may even learn something interesting about the equivalent word/norm in another country...
- Sharing dinners together: particularly if eating together as a family is a common tradition at home, sharing food at someone’s home can feel really special. Perhaps with a family or by creating your own gathering of friends, this is a cosy and heart-warming activity, and can be super fun if you all make a classic home dish to share.
Our closest friend of all
I was recently reminded that Jesus is my closest friend of all. All that I search for in other people, He is able to fulfil perfectly. It doesn’t always feel tangible - one reason we're given the physical people of His body, the Church - but it’s a comfort to know that He cares about us, He protects us, and above all, He loves us.
And so He is the friend that all international students need to hear about too. Maybe God could use you to introduce Him to them...
